Written and Illustrated by Alyssa Voegele
The endless bruises of a pole dancer is something we all deal with. We ignore the questionable looks, carefully position ourselves not to bump them at work, and even wear them as a badge of honor. While our non-poler friends might question what’s wrong with us, that beast of a bruise helped us climb to the top of the studio pole, or finally get into that no-handed jade.
We know the bruises will go away and we won’t bruise as easily as our skin and muscles become more conditioned. But, what should you do in the meantime? Invest in special FX concealer or malign yourself to pants and long sleeves? Well honestly, you may have to, but keep reading to learn how to treat and help heal your newest pole kisses.
You’re fresh out of the studio, on the high of another great class. Maybe you hit a trick for the first time, or you’re leaving completely wrecked—you know those bruises are on their way.
Relax, grab some ice or a bag of frozen peas, and apply it to the budding bruise; 10 minutes on, 20 minutes off. This will help the blood vessels to constrict and lessen the severity and swelling of the coming bruise.
After icing, it’s time for a nice bath.
Add some epsom salts to help soothe your muscles as the warm water helps to increase circulation and clear the pooled blood. Compression and elevation can help keep the vessels constricted and help drain the excess blood.
Day 1… aaaand Until the Bruise is Gone
It’s a day after your latest session and the bruises are beginning to show. The red is gone and the black, blues, and greens are starting to come through.
Bring on the creams!
Each of the following ingredients help reduce inflammation and speed wound healing. Apply one of these creams a few times a day to help your bruise fade more quickly.
Vitamin K is an important vitamin for blood clotting. A vitamin K supplement can help reduce bruising in the first place, whereas a topical cream containing vitamin K can help fade the bruises you already have and is generally safe to use. Dark leafy greens and broccoli are great natural sources for vitamin K too.
The herb grown in Siberia, central Europe, and parts of North America is known for its anti-inflammatory benefits. You can find it in lots of different bruise creams and it will often be paired with other anti-inflammatories from this list. It does carry some negative effects though, so it’s a good idea to do some extra research if you decide to use this herb.
Pure Aloe Vera Gel
It works for sunburns, so why not for bruises? Aloe vera helps with pain reduction and is anti-inflammatory. Just be sure to use 100% aloe vera.
Bromelain AKA 🍍
Bromelain is the combination of the enzymes found in pineapple. Those enzymes help the bruise heal more quickly. In addition to bromelain, eating some pineapple will also give you a healthy dose of vitamin C.
We know vitamin C is good for our skin. It helps fight free radicals, and reduces inflammation. All of these will help to heal your bruises. You can use vitamin C creams or serums directly on the bruise, but eating foods high in vitamin C such as red bell peppers, oranges, broccoli, and pineapple, will help from the inside out.
So there we have it. We can embrace our pole kisses and care for them at the same time. To quickly recap, ice and heat the day of, then reach for a bruise cream until the bruise heals.
Halloween is just a few short days away, and things aren’t exactly what they seem. Particularly when it comes to my cat. I’ve noticed him staring at my pole. Lounging with my Pleasers. Eyeing my drawer of pole clothes. I shake my head and tell myself it’s not possible. That everything pole related I’ve noticed lately is purely coincidence. That he’s just a cat, and cats don’t pole dance.
Or do they?
But when the photos came, I couldn’t find a single one that I liked. My costume was too big, and I showed. My stomach looked flabby. My hair was a mess. I didn’t hold some tricks nearly as long enough as I had thought, and those I had held weren’t really aimed at the audience. So, I had a good cry, shut my laptop, and decided to look back at them another day.