Pole Dance Problems (PDP) is an comedic illustration series for pole dancers who face a unique set of problems both on the pole and off. They are often painful, embarrassing but more than not they make us happy and proud to be a pole dancer.
I’ve begun to notice the inverse relationship between how long I’ve been poling and how short my shorts are. Now when I try on yoga hot pants I can’t but think that they are too long. I need my gluteal fold showing goddammit! And I’ve also noticed that my underwear can no longer keep up.
Now, I realize there are only three solutions to this problem:
1. Get smaller underwear.
While I do love myself some short shorts, I am not that keen on itty bitty undies. Something about me and wedgies is an issue. Wedgie in the front, wedgie in the back – fabric is going to places where only special people go and cutting off airflow to my privates.
2. Get bigger shorts.
3. Go commando.
I re-wear my pole shorts for days at a time. As we get into beast mode on the pole, we also produce beast sweat and anyone who has ever smelled crotch sweat knows that stuff is stinky.
4. Just don’t care.
So we come to solution 4. Just keep doing what you’re doing! Hell, I’ve seen boobies pop out of bras, so what’s a little underwear show?
Halloween is just a few short days away, and things aren’t exactly what they seem. Particularly when it comes to my cat. I’ve noticed him staring at my pole. Lounging with my Pleasers. Eyeing my drawer of pole clothes. I shake my head and tell myself it’s not possible. That everything pole related I’ve noticed lately is purely coincidence. That he’s just a cat, and cats don’t pole dance.
Or do they?
But when the photos came, I couldn’t find a single one that I liked. My costume was too big, and I showed. My stomach looked flabby. My hair was a mess. I didn’t hold some tricks nearly as long enough as I had thought, and those I had held weren’t really aimed at the audience. So, I had a good cry, shut my laptop, and decided to look back at them another day.