Sometimes you just need a little external push to get you where you want or need to be. Like when your pole teacher gently pushes you into the crazy ass move that bring tears of pain and joy at the same time. Isn’t it amazing how pole can do that? Or when your boyfriend pushes you out of the way so that you don’t get hit by a car because you’re daydreaming in the middle of a NYC intersection.

Then sometimes that push comes without warning and you’re left muttering “Oh shit.” 

My oh-shit moment came a few weeks ago while waiting for my 6:30 pole class. I received a call from my recruiter that my art director contract position would no longer be extended and that in fact it would be shortened. Oh shit. I would technically be jobless in a few weeks and I didn’t have a backup. Holidays were coming up and the idea of job searching at that time just seemed futile. Panic ensued. Then some anxiety.

Eventually the panic and anxiety toned down from a 10 to a 3 after an hour of pole. As I walked to the subway then took that 3 train home the cogs of my mind started churning. Maybe this was the external push I needed to finally get me where I want and need to be?

I’ve been saying for the longest time that one day I will do my own thing. I don’t want to work in the corporate world anymore and I want to work for myself. I want to have the freedom of being my own boss. I want create, make my ideas a reality and hopefully make a living while doing so. One of my most recent ideas has been to start a pole dancing clothing line combining my passion for design, illustration and pole all into one – Push + Pole.

So I decided that evening that I wasn’t going to panic. I wasn’t going to desperately search for a new job. I was going to take this unplanned oh-shit as an opportunity to do what I’ve always been saying I wanted to do. Anyways I was always secretly working on my Push + Pole ideas at work. Yes definitely not fit for the corporate world. Along with a decent amount of savings thanks to my cheapskate ways (I’m a store brand afficianado and leftovers hoarder) and support from loved ones I’ve decided I’m going to try. I’m going to go for it.

I’ve started producing some samples of my designs and am mapping out the blueprint to my empire. I’ve even set up a temporary HQ in Denver in the basement of my boyfriend’s house. And of course there’s a pole there!

2016 I will let go of fear. I will let go of my comfort zone. I will try new things. I will create. I will be determined. I will not give up. And I will do this both on the pole and off.

Thanks to this push, I hopefully will be creating awesome things for awesome pole dancers.


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